“WHAAAATTTT THE F***********!?!?!?!

Did I really get raped by a vampire?”

Many suns ago her goal was simple, let her voice be heard. And so it was, by quite a few of her friends actually. They would spout off early in the morning about whatever came to mind, typically musing about our chosen craft. Their buzzing at that point was little more than a morning song to the untrained ear. Oddly enough, people could hear them, they knew this much to be true, they simply could never make out a word. Too bad the birds never developed fingers to write with because they do speak the same damn language.

This was their heritage, continuing unabated until a strange night 3 years ago…

After a long day and night of speaking with her friends as they toiled in the brush, gathering for the coming winter. She squatted down to sleep when a dark silhouette of a bird-like creature appeared at the end of her branch. It was sliding stealthily towards her. She struggled to make out who or what it was when…she awoke. For the next three weeks she was haunted by vivid dreams of bird erotica, a dark and handsome creature would seduce her and force her to perform dastardly pornographic things. This struck her as strange, since that’s not really how birds do it.

Upon asking her friends what they thought the dreams could be about, a dear friend posed an interesting hypothesis.

“The elders spoke of a time when the evils of man may steal the voice of the bird only to share their melody amongst one another until the skies turned black and the rivers red.” She continued “that slippery mammalian bastard was likely a vampire in its bat form, sent in to steal your voice”. “That is just plain stupid” our graceful protagonist wailed. “Stupid?” her friend returned, “look down amongst them, they no longer look up to hear our calls, they instead stare downward into their black boxes – walking into one another and not saying so much as a word. Our influence is lost, they are disconnected”.

Perplexed by the theory and just how heavy handed her friend really was, our bird staggered back to her nest where she lay cumbersome atop her newest egg. “How does a vampire bat having sex with a bird lead to the downfall of the human race and all living creatures?”, she pondered aloud. Just then she felt a sharp pain in her ass.

The egg has hatched! What utter terror she next felt, when her newborn chick revealed itself. Into the air she leaped; squirming and screaming “WHAAAATTTT THE F***********!?!?!?!”

– she let out a bird fart.

Epilogue

That malevolent chick would then go on to live as the pet of her father, Dracula, in his palace – where she maintains his Facebook and Twitter page, he now has over 500 million friends.

To view the illustration that inspired this tale, click the image below.

Oh, and this image is mine, I created it, so spread it but don’t steal it.

This is SICK

Produced by: OneMoreProd.com

A close friend of mine created this hub for beer lovers aptly titled “Beers In Boston”.  Users are treated with up to the minute news and events listings from bars and breweries based in the Greater Boston area.  This is all accomplished by using a comprehensive approach to social media, where Twitter and Facebook function as users primary news feeds, with the actual site used for direct user interaction.  Users write reviews, guest blog on site at events, and participate in topical discussions using WordPress’s powerful commenting system.

Branding for Social Media

With such a wide reaching stream on multiple social channels I needed to approach the logo design with that in mind.  Catering to an avatar became the focus, as 90% of all users would see this small square everyday, multiple times.  Whether designers like it or not, these social media icons are here to stay – which is something we all need to keep in mind when designing.  Brands should always have a memorable square cut; an arrangement or cropping of a piece of the logo that becomes a symbol, but now that cut needs to fully encompass what you do.  From this mindset, the Beers In Boston Icon was born.

Anyone that knows Boston well knows that they pride themselves on the rustic appeal of the hundreds of pubs the downtown area features.  They love that dirty water.  Which to me is code for, beer rules and we drink a ton of it.  So we needed this icon to feature a pint, because without the pint there is no need for this logo, or the site.  The pint is king, and the pint filled to the brim with Sam Adams is god.

Expanding the Logo’s Reach

One of the great things about the concept of Beers In Boston is it’s viral growth potential.  Like any great online community, the service is the differentiator.  Thousands of well-funded on-line start-up companies blast onto the scene every year and only a handful can boast positive results.  The trouble with most of these companies is that they attempt to compete with a mega site, such as youtube, facebook, flickr, etc.  But with Beers in Boston, there is a specific niche they play to; beer lover’s.  Best part of this approach – there are beer fans in every nook & cranny of this great nation of ours.  So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Beers in Boston has expanded into a couple other northeastern metropolis’ New York City and Washington DC.

Both Beers in NYC and Beers in D.C. needed to be set apart from Boston, which could have meant a total re-branding, but that would just not make sense.  Instead, we simply skinned the existing logo with more appropriate color schemes.  NYC received a sleek blue and gray hue which let’s users know that, yes we are in touch with your city.  NYC bars are extravagant, modern, and they worship this little baseball team called the YANKEES.  Logic dictated NYC, while a winning color combination won us over on D.C.  The lite yellow and red somehow says D.C. why it does, not sure.  The color scheme does reflect the Redskins look – but most people don’t even know the Skins are based in D.C.  I guess the simplest thing is to chalk it up to happenstance.

Keep an eye open for more Beers In Boston spinoff’s in the future.  And in the meantime – check out BeersInBoston.com and follow them on Twitter, they will make sure you always have plans for your weekend.

Six months ago I was inspired by a group of horror movies to sit down and pen my own story.  It’s something I have wanted to do since I was a kid.  I suppose every artist that wants to tell a story begins by playing off the emotion of fear.  It’s the simplest to tackle, since there are millions of ways to elicit fear, not so many to tell a story with a bit more nuance.  Looking back at the lineage of great horror films, they always tend to be at the beginning of the authors career, some are so sucessfull that they never leave the genre, while others use it as a spring board.

With 31st, my goal is not to spring board into other genre’s but to tell one large multifaceted story throughout my career.  The tale contained within focuses on a small neighborhood full of mysteries and ancient secrets, all of which are being discovered on All Hallow’s Eve.  But this is only the beginning of the journey, not for these characters…I mean it’s a horror story, a shitload of them will die.  The inception of my concept, playing off of the years of research I have in the nature of all things.  I want to frame these ideas and findings into a story. One that while intended for a niche’ audience, can slip it’s way into the zeitgeist of our pop culture and leave regular people questioning themselves and the bizarre things we all do.

Last Halloween I was inspired by how enjoyable a story about Halloween could be when watching “Trick R’ Treat”.  Put that bad boy on your Netflix queue and see what I mean.  The ancient history of Halloween is vast and telling of who we were as a society, and really who we still are, unknowingly.  This is all a pipe dream until the vision comes to fruition, so for now – enjoy my concept art as I search for the perfect look and style for 31st.

Like many of you I found myself caught up in the soap opera we called an election last November.  An onslaught of he said, she said bullshit that ultimately polarized both puppet characters to the point where we voted against the past based on a false hope for the future.  Of course it’s easy to say all of this in hind sight, I mean you can’t look at Washington at this point and not see the charade for what it is.  But in November of 2008 we were all dangling by the strings of what the media fed us.

Neither Obama or McCain had any intention of fixing the mess this world is in.  Because in reality, it’s not their job, it’s ours.  But we have been convinced by the 24/7 news media juggernaut that we dutifully rely upon that everything is out of our control.  We need these smiling faces behind a podium to run our collective lives.

How do they do this?  Great script writing.  Drama.  We shouldn’t give a shit one way or the other who becomes the spokesman for the banks and military industrial complex, but we do.  Similar to the way we shouldn’t care whether Heidi and Spencer get married, or whether a failed recording artist worked their way through a scattering of talentless singers.  But thanks to some clever editing television production companies have hacked into our collective consciousness and found the perfect formula to lull us into a stupor.  We are presented characters, not human beings.  Caricatures that only serve to divide and conquer the masses.  One man is the progressive movement in a nutshell; liberal, multicultural, intellectual, and wealthy.  The other; old, white, conservative, bumbling.  The outcome was molded and decided upon long before we ever went to the polls, but that is really besides the point.

Ultimately our country was divided by a media machine more concerned with ratings than the well being of the populace, do so by pitting red vs. blue against eachother.  Yet when all is said and done…the actors collect a paycheck just like you and I, then hit the pub together. Washing away the guilt of lying for gold.

Built entirely on the legendary WordPress CMS, Tuckered Out Dog Daycare is the first live example of what I mean by “Let’s Work Together”.  The daycare is a small family run business that prides themselves on being a laid back and friendly environment for all breeds.  Using the theme of a tennis ball, I was able to give the site a playful edge while still allowing for basic functionality.  The end result is a complete online presence with a unified branding strategy.  To accompany the functionality of the basic site and blog, I created a social media presence and tied all the pieces up into a nice little package that will ensure quality results.

Since launching www.tuckeredoutdogs.com traffic has increased steadily by 52% a week.  Resulting in new, and satisfied clients.

Tuckered Out is located in Barrington, NH.

Interested in putting your small business online with a full website and social media package for less than your month’s lease?  We should talk…

In June of 2008 the Boston Celtics raised Banner 17.  Common knowledge to most, I know.  But for me it was something special, I only had enough money to get to one of the games during the entire record breaking playoff run.  It’s sad when you think about how they had 14 or so home games.  The only game I was able to get tickets to though, Cavs game 7.  Anyone following the run to Banner 17 should recall this game.  As it featured the spectacular duel of Lebron James and Paul Pierce.  They battled back and forth with “anything you can do I can do better” to the tune of 40+ each.  It was like watching poetry in motion, and gave me a whole new awe for the game.

Since that game I have felt the need to immortalize the feeling I had while watching “The Duel”.  Thus, the poster was born.

It may seem a little…odd…? That I would take something so mundane to heart, but I did.  Sorry.  Basketball is the only sport I have ever been so passionate about, and while I really kind of suck at it, I truly feel like it brings out the most amazing physical attributes the human body is capable of.  Great football is like great Steven Spielberg, great basketball is Kubrick 2001.

Quick note: Did you know that Spielberg’s name is auto corrected in spellcheck? Amazing.

Otherwise known as Jastro.

My family is tight, we’re small and only have each other.  So when the day came that the family traveler finally made the decision to do what the rest of us could not, I wanted to give him a parting gift to remember home. The ensuing illustration is really something only he would find meaning in.  At one point a group of ten people stood staring at is collectively for over twenty minutes, dissecting every line, relating every form to my brother.  Each was right, but each was also terribly wrong.  The idea was to be sure they would always ask questions, wonder…why?  Because that is who and what he is, a person mulling that very question over, day after day. Godspeed Jastro.

Back in August of 2009 a little horror movie premiered called H2.  I was expecting a good old fashioned slasher flick, reasonable right?  Instead what I was subjected to was the magnum opus of brutality from a man already known for carnage.  The imagery bandied about in this mess of a film seared into my head and I simply could not get it out.

Ignoring the minor grievances that most have expressed regarding the shitty script, the bile spewing white trash they call actors and director Rob Zombies endless desire to stick his talentless (thought beautiful) wife into every fucking movie he makes.  This movie still deserves it’s place in the pantheon of great horror movies.  For one simple fact, it is the most brutal mainstream film ever produced.  Others have rivaled it, but when all is said and done…this one is sort of untouchable.  I can’t remember the last time I squirmed like that in a movie.  The beat down Michael Myers puts on the strip club employees is legendary.

If you place the legacy of the series on the backburner and watch this for what it is…a visually stunning behemoth of heavy metal and hatred, you will see that Rob Zombie might suck at scripts and dialogue, but his horror visuals are the best in the business right now.